Shameless Creations

Bizarro Bootcamp? Yes. It starts on May 27th. I’ve already shaved my head.

There’s a lot of questions out there about Bizarro Bootcamp. I have TONS of questions about it myself. Every new recruit does, when faced with bootcamp. All they know of it is what they’ve heard from those who’ve gone before them. And since everyone’s experience is different, that’s not a lot to go by. The thing about this Bizarro Bootcamp is, I’ll be the first to go through it. I don’t even have stories of other people’s experiences. It’s a mystery.

But not a scary one.

Here’s what I know: I’ll be staying at the Bizarro Bunker for ten days. Well, for seven days, really, because… I’ll be doing a three-day writing marathon with Carlton Mellick III somewhere else. Yes. That means a new novella, written in the groundbreaking, mind-fucking style developed by Mr. Mellick. I can’t WAIT!

There’s a handbook for new bizarros being written and I’ll have a copy of it within the next couple of weeks. I’ll be starting on it before bootcamp. Once I’m in Portland, I will be STEEPED in the bizarro movement. I will learn from established bizarro authors what it means to be that sort of thing. I’ll drink beer. I will most likely laugh until my sides hurt and think about stuff that I’ve never even considered. I will learn about marketing, promotion, and the business of being a writer.

I’ll learn from the masters of the genre what it takes to make it in the genre. And while I’m there, I’ll be using my own experience from not only going through a different sort of bootcamp, but from also being on the other side of bootcamp as an instructor, to help structure Bizarro Bootcamp for future recruits. I’ll be the dude that starts the stories about what bootcamp is like.

While I’m away at camp (and I could be completely wrong about this because I quite seriously do not know) I’m pretty sure I won’t have a great deal of time to promote and sell my book. So I’m going to need some rotten little sergeants to keep things going for me while I’m away. Thus, a contest. And the birth of our Rotten Little Army.

I’m gonna ask one more time for your help. I need some new recruits. This is because I have great news about our efforts so far. Last month, thanks to the success of RLA Day and YOUR support, 35 copies of Rotten Little Animals sold at Amazon. That’s the best month ever! What it means is, I only need to sell 45 more copies to reach my goal of 200 copies in a year. 45!

That’s forty-five new recruits. I’m hoping some sergeants will rise from our ranks and gather up some newbs to enlighten them to the Natural magic that is Rotten Little Animals. I need YOU.

I will reward you handsomely. At least, sorta cutely. Here’s what I propose: Whoever brings me the most new recruits gets a hand drawn, hand bound, hand signed, hand everything Rotten Little Animals Go To Bootcamp Coloring Book. I’m going to make three of them. I think ten or fifteen drawings for you to color. I’ll draw them up after I get out of boot and they’ll reflect my experiences there. But it’ll be your old pals from the book, up to some silly adventures and MISadventures. The three of you who help me sell those remaining forty-five copies will get one.

The contest starts now and ends on June 7th, the day after bootcamp ends for me.

I think it can work two ways–book sales and fans (or likers) for the Rotten Little Animals page. But it would have to be something like, ten fans equal one book sale. So, if you gather ten new fans for my page, it counts for selling one book.

How to keep track of this? Easy peasy.

When someone buys a book on Amazon, they get a receipt. They need only email you a copy of it and you send it to me. With any personal information removed, of course. kevin@shamelesscreations.com

Any new fans you gather, just keep track of their names and send me a list.

Does this sound fun? Fan gathering, book hawking, and in the end you get a coloring book about rotten little bizarro bootcampers and the satisfaction of knowing that I’ll be writing more books once those last forty-five of RLA are sold. Did I mention that I already have some crazy cool ideas? Did I mention I’m not writing them until I get these last books sold?

Anyone want to be my sergeants? Line ‘em up. Move ‘em out.

If you share this by clicking those facebook buttons and linking here and such, it’s a good way to start winning. I really hope someone decides to do this. I’ve been itching to create a coloring book for those rotten little bastards for a long time.

And forty-five more copies to launch me into my superstar world-dominating bizarro career! We can do it!!

Thank you all, for all you’ve done to get me here. It’s been a great ride. April showed me just how much you really do care and I feel your freaky love, each and every one of you. I love you, too.

For-waaaaard!

The book will look somethin’ like this only better and funny because I just drew this up in a couple of minutes so you know that the coloring book might be kinda cool. I’ll take my time, and be funny. Promise.