Archives for May, 2010
Wednesday, May 26th, 2010
I leave tomorrow for ten days. While I’m gone, will someone please feed the cat? And watch the dog’s dishes, too. Thank you! Zane will take care of the plants. (If you could just wrench the watering can out of his little hands now and then…)
I’ll have plenty to tell you about my adventures at the first ever Bizarro Bootcamp when I’m back, you can bet on it. Please don’t bet on it, though, because I’m telling you now that I’m going to do it, so betting against that would just be throwing your money away. Give it to a food bank or something, instead.
Have fun while I’m gone. No fighting! Well, just no unprovoked punching or kicking or mad Kung-Fu finger-flicking. You can be acerbic and provocative all you want. I’ll be back sometime on the sixth of June. Just have stuff cleaned up by then, and make sure your robot girl vanquishes the apocalyptic future dudes.
See ya!
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Tuesday, May 11th, 2010
I have been very, very busy lately. I’ve been working at promoting my book, and writing smaller bits when I have a chance. I’ve had a few things published in the past couple of months, and I thought I’d make up a list for those of you who like reading the things I write–in case I’ve not talked enough about them already. 
In March, Every Day Fiction published my story, What Name Do I Give Her?, a semi-autobiographical flash fiction experimental bit about crystal meth and a stripper I once knew oh so well. The New Flesh featured my flash story, Hunting J.K. I can’t tell you much about it without giving it all away, but it’s about time-travel and changing history.
Withersin came out with their new format in April, launching three magazines combined into one thick treat of terror and weirdness. My story, Sculpting, is inside. It’s a story about a talented little guy who meets a God. It’s also about spiders. That one you can’t find online.
In May I wrote up an article for Garrett Cook and Crew’s bad movie review blog, Dollar Bin Massacre. I tried to defend Battlefield Earth. Eric Mays interviewed me on his excellent new site, The Authors Speak. It’s one of my all-time favorite interviews. That site in general is a great place to go to learn the inside stuff on lots of great writers. Eric knows how to ask the right questions. A story of mine, The Skin of the Mountain, came out in Dark Recesses Magazine on Mother’s Day. It’s one of my personal favorites. I hope you like it, too. It’s about life-cycles and a bug apocalypse.
I also sold another of my favorite stories to an upcoming anthology called, Toe Tags II. Watch for announcements about that. It’s a story I wrote over fifteen years ago.
Bizarro Bootcamp is coming up soon. I’m pretty excited about that and I hope to tell you all a great deal more about it afterward, before I head to CryptiCon. I’m preparing for bootcamp by writing a story (finished last night) I hope to sell to an upcoming anthology and taking it as easy as possible for the next two weeks.
Thanks for reading!
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Tuesday, May 4th, 2010
Bizarro Bootcamp? Yes. It starts on May 27th. I’ve already shaved my head.
There’s a lot of questions out there about Bizarro Bootcamp. I have TONS of questions about it myself. Every new recruit does, when faced with bootcamp. All they know of it is what they’ve heard from those who’ve gone before them. And since everyone’s experience is different, that’s not a lot to go by. The thing about this Bizarro Bootcamp is, I’ll be the first to go through it. I don’t even have stories of other people’s experiences. It’s a mystery.
But not a scary one.
Here’s what I know: I’ll be staying at the Bizarro Bunker for ten days. Well, for seven days, really, because… I’ll be doing a three-day writing marathon with Carlton Mellick III somewhere else. Yes. That means a new novella, written in the groundbreaking, mind-fucking style developed by Mr. Mellick. I can’t WAIT!
There’s a handbook for new bizarros being written and I’ll have a copy of it within the next couple of weeks. I’ll be starting on it before bootcamp. Once I’m in Portland, I will be STEEPED in the bizarro movement. I will learn from established bizarro authors what it means to be that sort of thing. I’ll drink beer. I will most likely laugh until my sides hurt and think about stuff that I’ve never even considered. I will learn about marketing, promotion, and the business of being a writer.
I’ll learn from the masters of the genre what it takes to make it in the genre. And while I’m there, I’ll be using my own experience from not only going through a different sort of bootcamp, but from also being on the other side of bootcamp as an instructor, to help structure Bizarro Bootcamp for future recruits. I’ll be the dude that starts the stories about what bootcamp is like.
While I’m away at camp (and I could be completely wrong about this because I quite seriously do not know) I’m pretty sure I won’t have a great deal of time to promote and sell my book. So I’m going to need some rotten little sergeants to keep things going for me while I’m away. Thus, a contest. And the birth of our Rotten Little Army.
I’m gonna ask one more time for your help. I need some new recruits. This is because I have great news about our efforts so far. Last month, thanks to the success of RLA Day and YOUR support, 35 copies of Rotten Little Animals sold at Amazon. That’s the best month ever! What it means is, I only need to sell 45 more copies to reach my goal of 200 copies in a year. 45!
That’s forty-five new recruits. I’m hoping some sergeants will rise from our ranks and gather up some newbs to enlighten them to the Natural magic that is Rotten Little Animals. I need YOU.
I will reward you handsomely. At least, sorta cutely. Here’s what I propose: Whoever brings me the most new recruits gets a hand drawn, hand bound, hand signed, hand everything Rotten Little Animals Go To Bootcamp Coloring Book. I’m going to make three of them. I think ten or fifteen drawings for you to color. I’ll draw them up after I get out of boot and they’ll reflect my experiences there. But it’ll be your old pals from the book, up to some silly adventures and MISadventures. The three of you who help me sell those remaining forty-five copies will get one.
The contest starts now and ends on June 7th, the day after bootcamp ends for me.
I think it can work two ways–book sales and fans (or likers) for the Rotten Little Animals page. But it would have to be something like, ten fans equal one book sale. So, if you gather ten new fans for my page, it counts for selling one book.
How to keep track of this? Easy peasy.
When someone buys a book on Amazon, they get a receipt. They need only email you a copy of it and you send it to me. With any personal information removed, of course. kevin@shamelesscreations.com
Any new fans you gather, just keep track of their names and send me a list.
Does this sound fun? Fan gathering, book hawking, and in the end you get a coloring book about rotten little bizarro bootcampers and the satisfaction of knowing that I’ll be writing more books once those last forty-five of RLA are sold. Did I mention that I already have some crazy cool ideas? Did I mention I’m not writing them until I get these last books sold?
Anyone want to be my sergeants? Line ‘em up. Move ‘em out.
If you share this by clicking those facebook buttons and linking here and such, it’s a good way to start winning. I really hope someone decides to do this. I’ve been itching to create a coloring book for those rotten little bastards for a long time.
And forty-five more copies to launch me into my superstar world-dominating bizarro career! We can do it!!
Thank you all, for all you’ve done to get me here. It’s been a great ride. April showed me just how much you really do care and I feel your freaky love, each and every one of you. I love you, too.
For-waaaaard!
The book will look somethin’ like this only better and funny because I just drew this up in a couple of minutes so you know that the coloring book might be kinda cool. I’ll take my time, and be funny. Promise. 
