I was a RadCon virgin. I didn’t tell anyone outside my immediate Eraserhead family (a few of us in the group were), because I wasn’t sure if something utterly bizarre would come of letting that slip. In fact, I’m fairly certain something would have come about if I’d been silly enough to say, “Wow, I’ve never been to RadCon before.” I am not silly enough for that.
There are traditions at conventions and I’d rather stay on the quiet, safe side of them.
What a convention. There were panels. Cameron Pierce and I sat on one about taboo. I was able to express my opinions on the taboos left in our society, and writing about them. As well as talk about a documentary I recently viewed involving sex with donkeys. Ms. Ellen Datlow was concerned about bestiality really from the viewpoint of it harming the animal. I had to say that I’d seen the video and that donkeys, at least, don’t seem to mind.
You want to see what I’m talking about? Okay, but don’t say I didn’t warn you. There is donkey-love past this point, and not anything you want to know about. You can’t wash your eyes out to forget it. I’ve tried. Okay. Really. Here it is: Doin’ it Donkey-Style
So that kicked things off for me. That was what I did about an hour after I arrived. Before that, I drove for 4 1/2 hours over two mountain passes and through a fairly large snowstorm.
After that I had no responsibilities but to get into the convention. I checked out the art show, which featured three bizarro artists, Angie Molinar, Chrissy Horchheimer, and Carlton Mellick III. Opening ceremonies was the next organized event on my list. That took a while. The sound system caused belly-dancing delays. Once that was all jerry-rigged-out, things proceeded, and the convention officially began. There was a lovely song, too.
Rose O’Keefe spoke at the opening about Eraserhead Press, Bizarro Hour, and how we were there to tend to everyone’s weird needs. Rose was the Small Press Guest of Honor at the convention.
Friday ended with parties, the rave, a very private anime show, blue ballz, hunting with Jeremy Robert Johnson, the rave, conversation, sandwiches–at least crackers and cheese, and finally from the floor, Jeremy shout-whispering, “Forrest!” and then coming up with something hilarious that hurt our ribs until Carlton finally shut the door on him and we all went to sleep.
Saturday was wild.
I was on a panel with Forrest Armstrong about characters and how we make them rad and readable and carry the story. That was fun. There were a lot of people there for that one, and I heard back from several folks that they really enjoyed it.
Saturday was Forrest’s reading (read that, performance). He ate lunch at a podium in front of the three people waiting for the next reading. We clapped when he was finished. Even the other people.
My performance was that afternoon, too. Chrissy Horchheimer took a zombie cat sock puppet around the convention and people followed her back for my Rotten Little Puppet Show. It was amazing, and I am forever grateful for her mad Pied Piper skillz.
Forrest and I attended the panel about how to develop a cult audience taught by Carlton Mellick III, Jeremy Robert Johnson, and Jeff Burk. It ended up being a close-knit, roundtable discussion. They taught us a lot and it was comfortable and fun.
We ate turkey, bacon, and guacamole sandwiches.
Jeff Burk blew Trekkers away with his ideas about Tribble Borg and how they can happen now that the Star Trek universe has been reset.
And then came Bizarro Hour.
If you’ve never experienced this, I’m not sure I can sum it up in words but I will try. Since words will do no justice, however, I will explain things simply and post photos.
Jeremy Robert Johnson was our MC. He did MAGIC and impersonations and other things that made it impossible to be angry or lackluster. He was hilarious as always. Jeff Burk resurrected Shatnerquake. It was awesome. Carlton Mellick III read his tale of insidious LARPers and their defeat of the great dragon Dargoth. Cameron Pierce as Banana Man stole everyone’s shoes and held an auction for charity. He opposses the genocide of shoes. He also threw a hubcap and made a girl read it. She was both frightened and struck with hilarity. Carlton read his story about WereFonzie. Aaaaaaaaay! I did my new Stupifying Gobsmacked Ventriloquist Show. I’m the best ventriloquist ever on the planet of all time ever ever. (Not really.)
The show went over tremendously, and people seemed to have a blast.
Saturday night was even more partyish than Friday. After Bizarro Hour, we slid into the Small Press Party in our honor and proceeded to tap the keg. I ended up in the wrong chair at one point, and certainly heard about it. We took photos of mohawks, ate crackers, and launched our party evening with style. We hit the rave. We wrestled. We proved that Bizarros are cool in a crunch. We spent the end of the evening in the green room, eating and drinking, and generally feeling great.
The next day we sold lots of books to people who’d seen our show. Rose and I once again proved our mettle and coolness in the face of dire circumstances. I forgot half of my delicious sandwich in the fridge in the hotel room.
I finally reviewed Garrett Cook’s, Archelon Ranch on Amazon today. Sorry that took so long, Garrett! What an amazing book. I suggest everyone take a look.
This book is an amazing odyssey for the reader, writer, and characters in the story. Not many authors can work themselves into their stories effectively. Fewer do it well. Garrett Cook has done an amazing job of making himself a character in, and really the entire story of, his book. During a gripping tale about an entirely different person, Mr. Cook is looking at parts of himself and blasting us with what he finds in a most delicious, twisted, elegant way. He TELLS us he’s looking at himself while he’s doing it and writes a brilliant story around that. Garrett Cook pulls it off, and he does it with fireworks.
Beside himself, this book is about the strange, horrible, enlightening journey of one tortured and mutated man and his antagonist. It takes us into a bizarro land where dinosaurs eat genetically altered humans as snacks from high above the city vinescape. We go to the Mall. I hated malls before I read about Garrett’s. I haven’t been to one since. The Mall in Archelon Ranch is the insane line between the “safe” city and the wilderness beyond. It’s a fitting boundary marker between the two hemispheres.
The story is wild, fun, weird, and cool. The writing is vivid, engaging, and downright excellent.
Go with the author on a ride within himself to discover the whys and whatnots of it all. You may find yourself at Archelon Ranch in the end. I think I did.
Last week my mind was blown. I watched this short video on YouTube called, Zef Side. I didn’t know what I was seeing at first. (I was seeing The Answer.) I couldn’t stop watching. (You can’t stop watching, can you?) I watched that video a few times. There is something completely amazing about it. The girl, the rapping, the Dark Side of the Moon boxers. I was held to the screen, totally electrified. I thought, “Where ARE these people?”
I clicked on a video on the sidebar, “Enter the Ninja–Dirty Version” (I always go for the dirty version, just so you know. I haven’t seen any other version of this vid, actually.) while I looked up Die Antwoord on Google. I stopped reading as soon as the song got going and had to watch the vid. At the beginning of the video we learn that they’re from South Africa, how the culture is a lot of different things, and that it’s, “all these different things, all these different people, fucked into one person.”
I watched it about five times, and then looked up the lyrics to read the Afrikaans I was hearing. It’s almost familiar, but not enough to know what the hell is being said if you don’t know the language. After opening a few sites with lists of SA slang and lists of words for tourists and children, I went back to Google and found out who Die Antwoord is. I found articles by the South African online journal, Mahala. That’s their photo down there.
This is where I learned that there’s some controversary surrounding the group and their authenticity. By the time I discovered that some people in South Africa are angry with them, and calling them fake and the likes, I didn’t care one bit who the group were or had been, I was totally and completely hooked on Die Antwoord.
Yes, there’s controversy surrounding the lead of the group. He had another name at another time in the music industry. People say that he’s not from where he says he is… other things. NINJA is awesome. No matter what might be said about him. Listen to him. Just listen. And watch. It doesn’t matter where he comes from. He’s an entertainer.
And Yo-landi? “Keep that perfect beat, boy.” There is no one radder in the entire world. Seriously. She’s got something that just blasts through you and wrecks whoever you were before you experienced her hyper-cool, badass butterfly self. Yo Yo Yo Yo-landi.
The crap about their authenticity doesn’t matter to me, and fortunately, not to a lot of people. They’ve taken the world by storm. Every day they gain a thousand fans on facebook. I’ll bet that every day thousands of people across the world, just like me, read about South Africa and its culture. I’ve spent the past five days learning more than I ever have about that country.
It’s not the first time I’ve been exposed to SA. I’ve had friends who live there. It’s just the first time that I’ve been motivated to dig into what makes the place groove. I’m learning about the music scene there, the styles, the people and their motivations. I’m learning words and the concepts behind them. I know I’m not alone in this. While Die Antwoord’s music plays in the background, I click through articles and entries all about South Africa. No matter who they are, this group has raised awareness about their country in an extremely positive way.
So if Ninja and the rest of the $O$ crew come from the zef side, or not, it doesn’t matter. (They’ve got a new zef flow, and that’s all I need to know. I don’t care where they grew up.) They’re coming from South Africa, and representing the country with fresh, crazy, “next-level beats” and cool, freaky style. They’re completely authentic. And bad ass.
AND they give it away.
You can listen to all their music on their site. You can download it all for free.
Because not only does Die Antwoord completely ROCK, but they’re SMART and motivated by love of their art beyond what it can do for them in the world. AND they’re honest enough to let us know that that’s what they’re doing.
They remind me so much of my bizarro family.
I’m finding whatever music of theirs I can and spending my days soaking in it. Not much takes me like these groove-masters have.
Give The Answer your ears and heart for five minutes and I imagine that they’ll have you as hooked as they have me. I’ve been watching it happen.
NINJA, Yo-landi, DJ Hi-Tek–thank you for bringing your music, your comedy, your culture, your parody, and your way of looking at things into our worlds. South Africa, thank you for tolerating our ignorance, and our genuine (hopefully not too annoying) desire to suddenly know all about you. Even if we can’t quite fully understand stuff like “sewing machine”.
No matter where we are, I believe that Die Antwoord is just what their name says.
Then check out our little Zane in their fan photos. He wanted to look like Ninja while he hit the mark with him on his jams like, “Yin to the Yang, totally Hi-Tek, Ninja’s motherfuckin’ big in Japan. I’ve seen the future but I’ve never got a thing in my hand, except a microphone, big dreams, and a plan. Fly-talkin’. Sky-walkin’. Like a NINJA!”
One of the things I love most about being involved in the Bizarro Movement is the genuine love of reading and writing that comes from the community. Not only do bizarro authors love to write what people want to read, but they love reading in general. One of my publishers’ goals is to get people interested in reading again.
They do a great job of it.
I’ve spent some time selling Eraserhead Press books at conventions. One of the things that strikes me each time is that so many people say that they stopped reading until they discovered bizarro fiction, or that they’d just not read before that. Bizarro is interesting. It draws people to it, like all good art does.
Lately there’s been some articles and discussions involving bizarro that I’ve had a part in. My publisher, Carlton Mellick III, wrote about the part of Eraserhead Press that’s all his (and editor Kevin Donihe’s)–the New Bizarro Author Series.
(That’s the four NBAS authors there, David W. Barbee, Eric Mays, Patrick Wensink and me. Our amazing editor, Kevin L. Donihe in front.)
My book is part of that series. He wrote about it and the other three first NBAS books here at his blog: Carlton Mellick III. He talks about the NBAS, and what it means to bizarro and those of us in it. He says some really nice things about the NBAS authors and our books. (And about my cocktail-making skills…) Carlton is a fabulous author, an all-around brilliant guy, and someone to pay attention to. I’m happy to have him writing things about me and to be included in his plan to get more people to READ.
I had the pleasure of running across another group of people dedicated to getting people back into reading. I found the blog, Campaign for the American Reader, run by Marshal Zeringue one day while searching for sites about books. They’re using different media to get people back into reading, including reviews of fresh, interesting books and reviews of books by writers. The begining of an article I wrote for Marshal is up there today, along with a fantastically large biography about me and Rotten Little Animals (thank you!). The full story is completed at Marshal’s other blog, Writers Read. Many thanks to Marshal and his blog partner Vivian Darkbloom for all that they do to encourage reading. Mr. Zeringue is a writer and producer for Darkbloomz Productions. They produce film and plays and generally work to make the world a better place.
Please drop by and support these supporters of reading.
And you can find some reviews of bizarro books that I love if you read what I’m reading.
What about the horror genre? Where can you find in-depth reviews, interviews, and resources dealing with the scary side of writing? Yes, Monster Librarian. They do a great job of it.
Here’s what the site says about its mission…
Monster Librarian was created with the following goals:
1) To support Public, Academic, and School Librarians in developing their library horror fiction collection and assist in readers advisory.
2) To help current readers of horror fiction find another good book to read.
3) To encourage fans of horror to expand their interests beyond movies and television, and introduce excellent horror fiction.
4) To help teachers and librarians use horror to reach reluctant readers.
5) To help promote small and independent press horror genre publishers in libraries.
They even have an entire section dedicated to bizarro fiction, because sometimes elements of horror show up in our genre, too.
Rhonda Wilson just put up a super-awesome review of Rotten Little Animals in that section. Please drop by and give it a read. And then go on and explore Monster Librarian. It’s a good place to spend some time.
Many thanks to Rhonda for such a glowing review of RLA. Further thanks to her and the rest of the staff at Monster Librarian for their support of bizarro in general. We appreciate it.
